Google Santorum

To gargle a mouthful of Santorum (the frothy mixture of fecal matter and lube after anal sex).

I was drunk, she was fly, things got weird, and before I knew it, I had a wet, nasty mouthful - I never thought I would Google Santorum.

Straptured

Being very low on cash because you spent your life savings on a false prophecy of the end of the world.

Um, you see, I know it's May 22, but I'm not gonna be able to pay any rent or utility bills - because, as a true believer and subscriber to Family Radio, I'm a little straptured.

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