Geist Glare

A look of extreme disapproval conveyed to someone who is in the process of apologizing for a certain action. Typically seen in instances where the camera should be focused on the one giving the apology, but inexplicably includes an unrelated, disapproving person in the shot.

Named after Willie Geist, whose stern look of disapproval was, for whatever reason, included in the shot of Mark Halperin apologizing for calling Barack Obama a dick on MSNBC (later satirized by The Daily Show)

Mark Halperin - I am truly sorry for my actions.

Willie Geist - *geist glare*

Crayolagram

(noun)

1. A hastily or sloppily drawn diagram or schematic, often drawn with brightly colored crayons, that attempts to explain or outline a sophisticated concept. Often seen as a result of small children attempting to explain some implausible device or plan, or as a result of adults who are in a hurry.

2. A letter or card whose message is written in crayon. Often the result of the writer's inability or disinterest in finding a pen or a pencil.

1. Junior made a crayolagram for his school project.

2. "Hey, I got your crayolagram. I liked the...bright colors."

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Way Better than Rebecca Black

A go-to phrase for youtube comment boards used to offer consolation to youtube video content (usually a song) that, while otherwise relatively sub-par, is nevertheless far more accomplished and/or enjoyable than Rebecca Black's "Friday."

Youtube comment: Yo idk how this vid is kickin' on the front page when it should be chillin' on the back page, but it's still way better than Rebecca Black.

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Oh, wait

A phrase used to sarcastically indicate that something which is presumed or hoped for is, in fact, not true.

Typically used in discussions to either insult someone, or to refute an assertion by emphasizing why that assertion is inaccurate.

(As an insult)

*Bill finishes 34th in a marathon*

Dick - Hey Bill, nice job winning first place. Oh, wait.

(As a rebuttal)

Bill - The United States is in a strong state of financial security.

Dick - Yes. Good thing our national debt isn't somewhere around $14 trillion. Oh, wait.

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No one wants those eggs

A polite way to say "nobody wants to have sex/kids with her."

Eggs is implied to mean future children.

"Yo Bob, think Betty will ever have kids?"

"Nah bro, no one wants those eggs."

Palin-drome

Coined by Jon Stewart and a keystone of the Sarah Palin arsenal, this is a political technique in which one complains about "unfair" assertions and criticism made by political opponents, but then proceeds to criticize said opponents in the same, allegedly "unfair" manner.

Also known as the "anchorage steamer" and the "caribou ball-swivel."

See also, hypocrisy.

Sarah Palin - We've been falsely accused of being accessory to murder. This persecution is reprehensible. Blood libel...whatever that means...they're doing it.

Sarah Palin - But, y'know, this shooter may have even been a leftist. People on the left clearly do not like my message and are intent on bringing America to its knees.

Sarah Palin - In fact, if they didn't have their double standards, the left wouldn't have any standards!

Jon Stewart - Why don't we call that an anchorage steamer...or no wait...a PALIN-DROME!

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Murphy's Traffic Law

The simple fact of reality which states that whenever one is in a hurry, one or more of the following effects are experienced when driving a car:

-Chance of encountering consecutive red lights is increased.

-When in an intersection, chance of having a left turn larry in your line is increased.

-Chance of getting stuck behind an extremely conservative driver or a naturally slower vehicle is greatly increased.

Basically, the Murphy's Law of driving. If you need to get their fast, you're going to get their less quickly.

Boss - You're late.

Flunky - Sorry. 6 red lights in a row, got stuck behind an 18-wheeler, and it seemed like everyone just wanted to turn left today.

Crony - Murphy's Traffic Law. Respect.

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