ripping my knitting

Getting on your nerves to the point where you want to punch something

Jolene: "I hate that new Katy Perry song."

Susan: "I know, right? It's never off MTV, it's really ripping my knitting."

burning my crumpets

Getting on your nerves; making you angry

Kevin: "WTF, there's been a commercial break like every ten minutes during this show!"

Fergus: "IKR. It's burning my crumpets."

Kevin: "I'm away to the pub instead."

Fergus: "Word."