snot box

A vanilla slice: two slices of pastry with vanilla custard in between. Usually topped with flavoured icing.

I had two maggot bags and a snot box for smoko.

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Paisley shower

When pressed for time, one may find oneself unable to clean ones whole body body before an important social occasion eg. first date, court appearance. A quick wash under the armpits and application of Lynx to teh groin area can be a handy alternative.

After fucking my sister, I found upon myself a quite unwholesome stench; a quick Paisley shower later, and one was resplendent down the town in ones white tracky for the dancing...

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paisley

Scots:
1.Ancient term for the communal lavatory situated at the edge of a pre-historic Pictish settlement.

2.Shitehole town outside of Glasgow

I love Club 69, but I can't afford the bus to Shiteho-- sorry, Paisley.

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wide

Scots:
antagonistic, provocative, out of order

a "wide cunt" is one who would push the normal definitions of polite intrapersonal behaviour, in order to provoke a reaction.

"Your mother may be described as a sexually promiscuous woman, one blessed niether with good manners nor good looks"

"fuck off you wide cunt."

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