lolface

'Laugh Out Loud' with a hint of 'you're a dumbass'.

Bob: Hey man, I had sex with your mom.

Phillip: My mom's dead.

Bob: Oh, hey, sorry, man, I didn't know.

Phillip: Dude, you just saw me with my mom yesterday, remember?

Bob: Oh yeah.

Phillip: lolface!

32👍 20👎

jebus

Variation of 'Jesus' first invented by Duke Ellington so as not to be beaten by nuns. Borrowed by Frank Zappa and, from there, by Matt G.

Jesus: Daaaaad, do I have a brother.

God: Uh, no, not that I know of.

Jesus: Then who's this 'Jebus' everyone keeps talking about?

18👍 31👎

Stasi

A very pretty girl with a big big smile on the face. A real-life sunshine who’ll light up your darkest days. Can be a grumpy bitch sometimes. She’s so funny and clumsy she’ll misspell a lot of words and make you laugh. If you have a Stasi in you life, make sure you hug her a lot and tell her how much you love her, ‘cause she deserves it.

them: she’s amazing
me: I know, she’s a Stasi!