Bloomington

Nestled in "Limestone Country", deep in the heart of South Central Indiana, you'll find Bloomington. Home of Indiana University, Bloomington also earned the "Tree City USA" designation, in 1979. We don't like to brag, but, Bloomington was the location of the last television assembly plant in the US, before RCA's French masters decided to move operations "south of the border". Keeping in tune with nature, Bloomington has adopted an "organic growth strategy," for city planning. Haphazard street nomenclature and numbering are the norm. Just try to get from West 3rd St to East 3rd St, it can't be done. If you got some cash, the East Side is the place for you. Your kids will go to the best schools and you'll have great access to the Mall. It's a transplanted suburbanite's wet dream. If you're in a slightly less money-fied situation, may I suggest either the North or South Side. If you're willing to roll the dice, with respect to your kid's education, the West Side offers you the best real estate value in Bloomington. The-smell-of-freshly-burnt-rubber-from-tires-of-the-truck-driven-by-the-redneck-who's-currently-flipping-you-off, is a strong indicator that you've made it to the West Side. The campus area is predominated by lazy money douchebags who are fixin' to get their comeuppance if they show me the slightest amount of disrespect. Drinking is like a religion with these people.

Bloomington Superlatives:
-The Indiana Hoosiers have won 7 Soccer and 5 Basketball National Championships.
-John "Cougar" Mellencamp is Bloomington's most celebrated resident. Word around town is that he's a total dickhead to everyone with whom he comes in contact.
-The center of US population is a distinction which has not fallen within the incorporated area of any city since it was located in Bloomington, in 1910.

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