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the king crab blumpkin is prefaced by eating an excessive amount of spicy japanese food so as to make your blumpkin shit as liquid and rancid as possible.
the kind crab blumpkin begins by picking the crabs out of your pubes while receiving blumpkin and strategically placing said crabs (pubic lice for you retards) throughout the hair of the female slobbing your knob. just as you're about to shoot your load, wait until the aforementioned whore is in a downward bob, slide sideways off the toilet and forcefully slam her face into the asian frying oil you've been brewing in the toilet. ejaculate on the shocked, fried dumpling whore.
joe: hey man, how was your date with cheryl?
mike: pretty good. she wanted to spend a quiet night alone so we watched 50 first dates and i took her out to a real nice sushi place. thought i'd add a little spice to the night so i king crab blumpkin'd her.
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the act of leaving a few hints of feces in plain sight en route to a hot and steamy prize some distance from the original "clues". the scavenger dump is best executed in the homes of others or in public domains...unless, of course, you enjoy cleaning up your own shit, in which case, feel free to scavenger dump in the comfort of your own home.
note: the scavenger dump is not to be confused with an AFR (accidental fecal release), commonly known as the shart. the scavenger dump is purely intentional and malicious in nature.
i was in the library the other day and i left those bookworms a scavenger dump from the british lit section into the rare books collection...talk about a Shakespearian tragedy for whoever has to clean that up!
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this isn't your traditional elementary school recess toy. this shit is real. to successfully execute the "jump rope", one must master the element of surprise...it is then and only then that the jump rope can be accomplished.
first, you will need a chick in your bedroom completely unclothed and ready to be pounded. it is at this point that the male subject must surreptitiously creep behind the unsuspecting female, turn sideways, and proceed to insert only his thumbs in the female's vagina and anus, respectively. no further effort is necessary on the part of the male, as the speared female will jump up and down until she is able to escape from the human jump rope that has been created.
Nate: "dude i'm pretty nervous about taking it to the next level with Emma. got any tips?"
Drew: "honestly..you have to go big or go home. it's 2011 and you can't just rock it missionary anymore and expect a chick to be satisfied. you should seriously consider giving her a jump rope...i know it may sound odd at first, but chicks completely dig it..."
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