Resharded

Someone who leaves the freezer door open all night & then denies it the next morning, attempts to make up for it by washing the dishes with no soap, pretends to be asleep in their friends floor & steals meth off their chest then says “I don’t even like meth”

Tina: Jimmy! You know it’s 100° outside did you sell the rest of that meth so we could pay the power bill?

Jimmy: well when I woke up sean was here & I guess I misplaced it sometime during the night I’m not sure how he got in but he was vacuuming the yard, mopping the carpet & he helped me look for it. No luck, but he had some & got me high

Tina: when are you gonna realize your resharded friend steals our shit & fucks crack whores in the laundry room

Sean

Your homeless friend that sleeps on your sofa 9 nights a week, promises only one more night then 17 years later is still stealing your drugs and blaming it on your neighbors cat whom he swears sneaks in the house at night & sexually assaults him. He hasn’t worked a job since 2001 but says he is an independent contractor with a tool box with nothing but a a screwdriver & your dead mothers wedding ring

Don’t do drugs kids or your gonna be a Sean!