Tight and Shiny

When a guy bends his penis in half. The skin on the shaft then gets that tight and shiny appearance.

Last call at the bar
Drunk idiot: Hey sexy, wanna see my tight and shiny?!
Girl: What? Okay?? Wtf?
Drunk idiot: turns his back, fumbles with his pants, then

finally turns around.
Girl:?????
Drunk Idiot: ta daaaaaa
Girl: Gross! Pull yourself together! Creep.

Pussy Posse

When a “crazy cat lady” takes all 100 of her cats on a walk. Only happens late at night.

Hey! That crazy cat lady is out walking her ‘pussy posse!”