emperor

A big man, but a small ego. Yknow what they say about men with small egos. ... Empys, although big in size, are contradictorily introverted and socially inept. They are surprisingly afraid of the smallest things and will cling onto everything, even in haunted houses meant for children. If spotted, please give him your phone number. Despite his tendency to never smile or approach others, he wants women. He wants women bad. Hot. Beautiful. Asian (non-negotiable). Pre-cautionary measures are not needed, however, proceed at your own peril - the conservation may be strictly limited to the topic of women, otherwise, Empys will lose interest. Please do not lose interest. Empys are quite sad and lonely, and are in dire need of hugs and social reassurance. 1-2 times daily, supply with sunlight and water. Occasionally, Empys might need protein powder. Fuels his workout, his ego, and his titties.

"can you give me an example of an oxymoron? yeah sure! emperor and women!"