Calling off Doug

When you aren't sick or have any emergency, but you still don't want to go to work.

I feel fine today. But I'm calling off Doug to work anyway

Squirrel

Anyone on welfare, begging for money, or otherwise living off of others in the same way forest squirrels look for a handout on popular hiking trails. Someone looking for a "free nut". A parasite. Usually black people, but can also be white trash and some Latinos. Asian squirrels are almost non-existent.

Person #1: "I heard the government is offering a new food stamps program starting tomorrow."

Person #2: "Yeah. I bet the squirrels will be lined up around the corner for that."

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poozing

when you get fucked in the ass, then you expel the jizz later with some poop. Similar to Sharting, except it's jizz coming out with the poop, not farts

My boyfriend shot his load in me earlier today, and I already had one on deck. I'm going to be poozing all day.

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