ash bandit

Hangers on at a public bonfire and firework display who wish to stay until the early hours, throwing things on the fire, when everyone else has gone home. Usually teenagers or NEETS who do not have to be up for work the following day and often stoners.

Over police intercom

'Roger 1 2 just going round the park to check for ash bandits over'

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twirt

A synthesis of the words 'twirl' and 'divert.' Used to signify when a sequence of events occurs in the wrong order

We had our bloody summer in April with the unbroken sunshine and warm temperatures. Now its actually Summer its cold and wet. Talk about a twirt of the seasons!

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twirt

Any means of artificially creating a more favourable climate, weather experience etc for yourself or plants.

1. 'I twirted the forecast this weekend and wend down the South East where the weather was sunnier.'

2. 'How come you've got daffodils flowering in November?'

'I twirted some bulbs by overwintering them in the fridge for a month and then planting in a greenhouse in October.'

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clique cake

Any food (usually cake) left on the table of a communal staffroom of a large organisation where there is an unwritten rule that it is only for a certain group of people within the organisation.

Clique cake is a very common phenomenon in school staff rooms, where the cake in question is 'only for the Maths department' or other department.

Alternatives include cake being only for 'old timers' who have been at the workplace for over X years or 'you've got to know Bob to have a piece' cake.

'Look. Cake!'

'I wouldn't dare if I was you. It looks like clique cake!

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tramp a go round

A 'tramp a go round' is a rotating green cylindrical advertising hoarding that displays the location where it sits (usually near city centre squares and staions.) Due to the higher than average density of tramps at these locations, you often see a 'tramp a go round' and a tramp in the same view.

Birmingham has got 3 tramp a go rounds I have counted so far, and three tramps!

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lead differential

The awkward situation faced by many dog walkers crossing paths when one is on a lead, the other isnt (although many variants are possible with more than one dog per owner.)

The dog owner who has not put their dog on a lead is worried that the owner who has put their dog on a lead is cosidering them to not be in adequate control of their animal.

Likewise the owner who has their dog on a lead may feel they are not giving the dog enough freedom.

Normally resolves itself in one of 3 ways.

1. The non leaded dog owner says 'He's friendly' and the comment is confirmed by the dogs behaviour.

2. The non leaded dog annoys the leaded dog, the leaded dog owner expressed disapproval and apologies are made usually ('Hes normally SOOOOOO friendly!')

3. The owner of the non leaded dog puts their dog on a lead.

-To dog, as if it can understand, while putting lead on it.-

'Sorry mate. Lead differential!'

terrored

When a large number of people mob an individual with simultaneous demands on their time and resources.

Sir, now me, Claire and Hannah want your help it looks like you're being terrored!

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