Mindfulness

Paying attention to the downright fucking obvious. This usually manifests as paying for a therapist to tell you that if you fart you might need to shit soon. Can only be counteracted by a whack over the head with a plank and a tattoo reading, 'GET A FUCKING GRIP.'

I've been practising mindfulness. It's been very helpful. I haven't been arrested once since I started getting dressed before going to drop the children at school.

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