Random
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Random
when a woman uses her fantastically big awesome boobs as a smokescreen to lure a man into thinkin that the whole package is hot as well, by some sort of booby magic that drives a manner into a state of altered consciousness preventing him from seeing anything but boobs
Hey Bob, so I went out with this awesome chick the other night, the total package.... but then last night I saw her again and turns out she booby trapped the hell outta me the first time by hoisting that fantastic rack up in my face.
4👍 12👎
When you are giving a woman anal sex from the missionary position, then punch her in the stomach hard enough to make her throw up all over her tits. Then you pull out and ejaculate all over the throw up to make a nice creamy oatmeal. Spoons not included.
We were drinkin whiskey and she looked kinda effed up so I gave her a Tallahasse oatmeal
5👍 7👎
When you are giving a woman anal sex from the missionary position, then punch her in the stomach hard enough to make her throw up all over her tits. Then you pull out and ejaculate all over the throw up to make a nice creamy oatmeal. Spoons not included.
After this you top the creamy goodness with her crap that's still on your penis for the surprise.
We had the greatest Tallahasse oatmeal surprise tonight since she had to crap and the topping was extra thick
2👍 12👎
When a regular guy becomes super ass freakin cool when he gets effing drunk as hell on purpose
I sure do like Bob a whole lot better when he's Hasselhoffing.
3👍 4👎
when your down on her eatin her box and you notice that she missed mowing a few ahole hairs that are kinda long, bite down on those angry mafuckers and yank em out like a dentist pullin a tooth. When she screams or makes any sound in protest, you punch her in the neck and tell her to have a lil pride and keep her starfish and box smooth and hairless or else.
I was lickin this bitch and stairing at her cheerio when low and behold I get jabbed in the eye by an angry butthair she missed, so I did the right thing and gave her an angry butt barber, bit down on those stragglers and yanked em out. When she had the audacity to let out a whimper I punched her in the neck and told her to keep it manicured with some pride
13👍 14👎
when you take a huge shit and go to wipe but then a sense of purpose, accomplishment and confidence strikes you that is so powerful that you refrain from tearing even one measley safety square of paper because you know, you just know that the shit came out so perfectly and that your rectum dispensed with that happy turd so well that there is absolutely no need to wipe at all. You just put your thumbs up and let out an "aaaayyyyy", like Fonzi would, because you are so impressed with yourself and everyone else should be too. Because who else could do something that great besides you, and Fonzi, of course.
Ok ok, I understand you want me to eat your asshole out. But I've gotta tell you that unless you have one great clean slate Fonzarelli I'm not doin it. That hole of yours better be spic and span or I'm not eatin it.
5👍 9👎