Middletown

A town in Rhode Island. Located on Aquidneck Island in the middle of Newport and Portsmouth...hence the name. Middletown is clearly the best of the three on the Island because a) it's not ghetto like Newport and b) it's not snotty like Portsmouth. Home to fairly well-off families (they have to be to own houses here!), Middletown is a place where everybody knows everybody and their parents. Soccer and lacrosse are generally successful and popular sports. For the most part, its inhabitants don't move away. And who would want to? Go Islanders!

"Where are you from?"
"Middletown, RI."
"Oh, I heard that it's the shit."

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