pearl blast

jizz, ejaculate, spooge, cum, to blow one's load, get rid of the baby batter,or otherwise squirt seminal fluid from the penis.

I pearl blasted all over her face and in her hair!

worse than dial-up

Something that takes a long time and is not enjoyable.

Harkens back to the early days of internet when connections were made over 56k or dial-up telephone service

I hate waiting in line at the DMV, it's worse than dial-up