golden fuck off

what most wage slaves crave, redundancy with a fat payoff.

I wasn't needed anymore, I knew I was going to lose my job but when the boss called me into his office he gave me a golden fuck off. I made 20K!

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bitch ketchup

The blood and lady bits that a woman excretes during her period.

Urggggh, your bitch ketchup's got lumps in it!

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Hanging Curtains of Babylon

Term for slightly overstretched labia. Horrendous insult that should only be used under extreme duress or for cheap laughs. Wil lresult in violence or bemusement.

"Fuck off, don't talk about my funny-shaped cock, your minge is like the hanging curtains of Babylon."

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brown handshake

Opposite of golden handshake. When one loses their job with no compensation.

You think you're going to be made redundant with a big fat payoff but no, you get the brown handshake. Do not collect any money, just clear your desk and get the hell outta here!

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Japanese Clog

1. Item of footwear
2. Huge turd which may be caused by eating too much oriental food. Said turd will clog up the toilet.

"Man, I just to Wagamama's a totally pigged out. I had to go to the toilet immediately but left a Japanese Clog in there. The pan totally overflowed."

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lady bits

Various unspeakable by-products of a fully functioning woman. Can be a euphemism for a variety of objects, especially those taken out after it's soaked up all the bitch ketchup

I tel you what mate, your drain's blocked 'cos of all the lady bits down there.

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mimsified

To be emasculated, either imediately or over a period of time. e.g. dressing like a woman or being on the receiving end of a strap-on or generally being the bitch in a relationship.

My girlfriend wears the trousers around here, me? I'm just totally mimsified.

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