hauch

N. A short puff of breath.

V. To puff warm air on something or someone.

Origin: German

"A warm shock of air heat of mustard hauched on Mr Bloom's heart."
Ulysses - James Joyce

Almost as soon as I hauch on my sunglasses and clean the lenses, they are dirty again.

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dumb as Charlie Sheen

Stupid, dull-witted. The complete absence of rational thought or any potential for rational thought. The lowest possible level on the intelligence scale. A fucktard.

Student: Professor, this formaldehyde soaked frog I'm dissecting is dumber than Charlie Sheen.

Professor: Son, the correct expression is 'Dumb as Charlie Sheen' . It's not possible to be dumber than Charlie Sheen.

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Shoegar Daddy

A guy who buys women ridiculously expensive shoes with hopes of getting them in bed.

Hot chick: Some guy that sees me at work bought me this $1,200 pair of french pumps.

Friend: You've got yourself a Shoegar Daddy.