red alert

When you're on the absolute brink of shitting your pants.

The red alert qualifies as a personal, social, and bodily emergency of the highest order. It involves the explosive evacuation of the bowels and the imminent destruction of one's underwear and trousers if a lavatory is not located at once.

The red alert is a joke for everyone but the victim.

Victim: Ken, I'm not fuckin' around. This is a red alert!

Ken: Hahaha. All right, loosen your belt and pinch your cheeks, we're almost at Denny's.

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dumpling-depot

The stomach.

The word has its origins in the nineteenth century vernacular.

Put some of this in your dumpling-depot!

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creepy

What white people will call you if you breach their insular definition of acceptable behavior.

Love letters are creepy.

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urban dictionary

A site where users attempt to mock and explain everyone and thing in life, under the guise of cynical quasi-intellectualism.

It should be both noted and ignored, embraced and dismissed, laughed at and revered.

Urban Dictionary shows us we're all just a type, no matter how hard we try to escape or deny it.

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I understand that, but

Used in exasperation during an argument, with a notable impatience intended to slightly patronize the other party while furthering the speaker's other reasons.

Look, I didn't mean to shoot Marvin in the face.

I understand that, but that doesn't change the fact he's dead.

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people skills

Having the basic intelligence, charm, wisdom, and sense of humor to communicate and get along with strangers, usually the public, successfully.

Good people skills include honesty, sincerity, strong eye contact, communicative body language, and being all around friendly and helpful. Understanding the general tone, rhythms, and inflections of conversation and how to best address them is also a skill.

She lacks the people skills required to be in sales.

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