Bakersfield

The closest thing to Texas you are going to get in California. Rent here is one the cheapest in California. Land is very affordable here.

It is an hour and half away from Los Angeles and the Central Coast, and is thirty minutes to an hour away from the mountains.

It's boring as fuck unless you like riding dirtbikes, farms, oilfields, 4-wheeling, going to concerts, shows, the Kern county fair, swimming, drinking, or doing drugs.

High quality Methamphetamine can be found in any trailer park and is a very popular drug of choice here. It has the same air quality as Los Angeles, can get up to 110 degrees during the summer, and has the highest rate of teen pregnancy and STDs in the country.

Girls are hot here but they get around like hula hoops and will get pregnant and have your kids to receive welfare benefits and child support.

Liberty High, Stockdale High, Centennial High, Garces, and Bakersfield High are the best high schools here.

Colleges are Bakersfield College and Cal State University of Bakersfield where Tito Ortiz went to.

Best neighborhoods to live in Bakersfield is in the Northwest and Northeast.

Neighborhoods you want to stay far away from is Oildale and neighborhoods near and/or on Cottonwood road and Martin Luther King Blvd.

Gangs here consist of various sets of Crips that roll deep as fuck claim East Side, country boy Crips on the South Side, and West Side Crips. Bloods are few in number. Peckerwoods are in Oildale.

1.

Dude 1) Man Bakersfield is so boring, Im willing to try smoking meth.

Dude 2). Man I have a piezo at my house. We can get a twenty next door to your house.

Dude 1) I never knew they slanged meth and I never knew you smoked meth.

Dude 2) Dude what do you expect? You live in a trailer park in Oildale.

2.

Dude 1) Man Bakersfield hit 107 degrees today, thank god everybody wants to chill at my chillbox ( pad with bomb ass AC) and smoke meth cuz I have the coldest AC on the block.

Dude 2). Lets cluck your AC for more meth.

Dude 1). Fuck off that AC is my saddle, lets go steal someone's dirtbike instead.

Dude 2) Naw lets go rob a house instead.

Dude 1) I think I need to lay off this dope.

3.

Dude 1). At least Bakersfield has a chill downtown. I can pre-game at the Alley Cat and walk to Rabobank Arena to go see Kottonmouth Kings perform.

Dude 2). Yeah next week they are going to have a monster truck show. Im going there spun as fuck and grab me a tweaker hoe.

Dude 1) You and your fucking meth habit smh.

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zed

1. Slang for a Zombie, usually of the George A. Remereo (famous zombie movie director) type. Used commonly in the Max Brooks two novels: World War Z, and The Zombie Survival Guide. Used by zombie fans as a short cut to typing or saying the word.
2. The "proper" English way of pronouncing the letter Z

1. I just watched Dawn of the Dead and the ZEDS in that were fast!
2. I just got done reading World War Zed, and was it freaky

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Pedro

(slang) noun: A mexican. Used to define any mexican doing something incredibly stupid, annoying, or is just plain retarded. A group of mexicans are called pedros.

1)Get out of the way pedro!

2)That damn pedro is blocking the road again by parking his car right in the middle of the road!

3) Damn pedros stole my bike!

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