Gravy Train

Noun. A sexual practice common among Northern communities, whereby individuals gain extreme levels of erotic pleasure from the feeling of warm gravy being poured over their naked bodies. Originally devised by Lord Henry Bisto as a way of transporting gravy before the invention of the gravy boat, a gravy train is formed when three or more participants lie prostrate on an incline, usually head to toe up a terraced house staircase, feet facing towards the summit. Thick gravy, often fresh from the stove top, is then poured from the summit and allowed to flow across the naked torsos, faces and genitals of the participants, before settling in the mouth of the person at the base, commonly known as the 'bottom feeder'. Despite the practice being outlawed throughout much of the UK after the infamous Peter Kay incident of 2011, high-profile spokespeople including Curly Watts and Jonny Vegas continue to champion the rights of gravy trainers and regularly host illegal train rides.

'Fuckin'ell Sharon, next time wash your minge before you get on't gravy train!'
'Get the bisto out son, Nanna and Auntie Fran are coming round for a gravy train'.

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