Bartholomew

a wicked cool guy with massive tiddies. he gets all the girls and goes out drinking at 8pm every thursday. he loves men. His balls are the size of watermelons. he loves bloons TD 6. redhead & crackhead and never turns down a good ol fashioned game of horseshoes. Big fan of rootbeer. Has a windows phones. Loves pirating. Cant lift even 2 pounds. Eats drywall & glass & rocks. Masochist. Has several mental disorders and is banned from every Wendys in the state of Florida. Is very rich poor dude. Jacked. Was born in 1875. Loves Garfield. Ate lasagna for dinner today. Loves to lick popsicles in a weird way.

"Holy crap is that Bartholomew?!"
"SOMETHING WICKED COMES THIS WAY!!"