eggbert

Typically described as a full on male nerd who fully believes that the introduction and then subsequent removal of his sexual attentions from a woman's life can destroy her very existence. Confident in his extraordinary bedroom prowess, he can be characterised by his awkward dress sense, many female "just" friends, short stature and his extensive collection of PC gaming paraphenalia. Often balding, this man wears spectacles and declares himself an athiest. Is likely to have pronounced his love to many women, directly followed by a knowing look and the phrase "I'd only hurt you." This belief is based on real experience or an impressive intellectual architecture of movie plots sublimated over many years of saturday nights at home.

Stock phrases include "Trust me, I'm a dick", "No, Modern Warfare on the PC is way better" and "Sure mum, I'll zip you up".

Me: Oh god, its eggbert again.

Eggbert (Getting off back of Motorbike, behind driver):

Bye mum!

(Driver Waves, adjusts woolen coat and drives away)

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