modern art

Some woman's messy bed, or a dead shark some guy put in formaldehyde or something. But in an art gallery.

Simple Simon: Good heavens, why is there a dead shark next to this beautiful painting?

Johnny Artworld: It's modern art, dig?

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Proximity shower

A method of washing for when you have no hot water. You strip off and stand near the running water, using it to create a lather with soap, and rub that on yourself whilst you wait for the shower to reach the desired temperature. Useful in a hurry.

The boiler was out this morning so I took a proximity shower. It was awkward, but at least I'm clean.