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You have her on her knees, and torso leaning backwards. You stand above her from behind, and perform a Reverse Bat Wing over her face, effectively covering her nose and mouth, creating an airtight seal as you fart, yelling "Gas, Gas, Gas". Maintaining the seal, as you are about to cum, you yell, "Gas Clear", then remove the seal. While still straddling her head, slide back heavily with your anus, leaving the ultimate Shit Hawk on her forehead while simultaneously cumming on her chin/breasts/knees.
For extra points, best performed after a large burrito dinner.
"Sweetie, I'll admit it, I got drunk in Vegas, and I tried to drop a Belgian Gas Mask, which turned into a Spinal Tap, but which actually brings me to the fact that i have a Steam Cleaner receipt on my Visa.
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When you're fingering a girl while she's giving you a blowjob, mimicking the same motions to make it look like she's your hand puppet.
She was using her tonsils like a back brace for my dick, when i stuck a finger into her to liven the mood. Once knuckle deep, she thought "C is for Cock" instead of Cookie. Her eager skill as a muppet necking local made me proud to help out. Good thing she already lived in a trash can. Condoms are overrated, Haiti is overrated now, and rashes are for everyone else.
135👍 63👎
Used to define an emotionless, dead fish-eyed straight back handjob.
Waitress: "Would you like anything else?"
Customer: "Well, since you asked, a slow beej would be great, but failing that, a stiff Hand Jibber would suffice while I eat this meal."
Injecting peanut butter into a man's anus to entice squirrels to feast upon his ticklish innards. Claws are a bonus, but Crunchy is an acquired taste.
1. Pouched Entrails involves a man standing perfectly still outside the house on a Friday evening. naked but for the peanut butter condiment. A turkey baster used to inject bait into his anus works to entice the wildlife. As squirrels draw near, and indulge on his thighs, they grow curious to what lies nearer the target. Without warning, and more of a dart, the squirrels can dart without warning straight up his peanut hole, fervently clawing and licking everything that could be attained. The man becomes erect. And lonely. (different story).
2. "Wow, I got hammered last weekend. Did someone stuff a squirrel up my ass, or was i imagining shit with a sandwich?
3. Peanut butter, personal space, and Peyote don't always mix.
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