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Random
When a girl has long ginger pubes.
Me: Hey Jake what happened with you and that redhead?
Jake: It was sweet bro. I got all up in those brushfires down unda.
Me: That's fucking nasty dude.
32👍 2👎
When your girl is sleeping and you pour coke into her vagina then add some mentos. You know what happens next.
Me: You think if I pull a Floridian Pussy Rocket on her she'll break up with me? I just wanna see what happens.
Anthony: Nah if you film it and tell her it's a prank after, she'll be cool with it.
Me. Sick. Tonight's gonna be fun as hell.
29👍 4👎
When you're doing anal with a girl and she shits on your dick.
Me: Yo Jake you fuck that girl yet?
Jake: Yeah bro, but it sucked. She gave me an Ellie Supreme.
Me: Wow dude. That's really embarrassing, so I'll never make fun of you or post about it anonymously on the internet.
Jake: Thanks man. Appreciate you.
24👍 8👎
When you're fingering two girls at once. Rubbing the clits in a circle resembles the motion a DJ makes spinning a turntable.
Me: Ay what's the closest you've ever been to a threesome?
Ben: Haha I was so close one time. I actually did the Nebraskan Turntables on these twins, but I didn't get to fuck after.
Me: Damn! Why not?
Ben: Because they thought that fingering both of them at once was the stupidest shit ever. They left immediately after I tried it...
9👍 2👎