rag battle

When a girl feels compelled to argue with you about the most idiotic and pointless stuff for no discernible reason other than she's on the rag.

Hey, I don't think I can make it out tonight. I'm in the middle of a rag battle with the girlfriend because I didn't tell her that my new co-worker is attractive.

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Tolstoy

(verb)

to make significantly longer than is necessary to convey the relevant message; derived from Leo Tolstoy whose classic literature is quite long and wordy

Hey man, I just asked for a light, not your life story. You didn't have to Tolstoy me.

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drunk sweats

The feverish sensation that causes you to perspire after you've drank too much and start to feel nauseous.

How's Fred doing? He drank a lot of tequila tonight.

Not good. He had the drunk sweats so I put a trash can in front of his bed because I think he's about to hurl.

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clam scrubber

facial hair that is abrasive to the female genitalia (aka the clam) during cunnilingus

Girl: "I had to break-up with Bob because every time he went down on me his clam scrubber left me all red and itchy."

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weirds

The odd sensations you feel after taking a slow-acting drug (such as ecstasy, mushrooms, or LSD) but before the effects have truly set in. The knowledge that something about your body and perceptions have changed even though you can't fully grasp what has changed about them. The confusing mix of nervousness and excitement that transitions into the actual drug experience.

Yo, I don't know if I should have take that ecstasy. I'm nervous and can't stop pacing around the room.

Relax, it's okay. You have the weirds. They'll go away in a few minutes and you'll be rolling and feeling great.

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for the homies

the short blessing that accompanies pouring out liquor in honor of dead or incarcerated friends

After I crack my St. Ides, I always remember to pour out a sip: "For the homies."

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butterhealth

(noun)

a chick with a hot body and a cute face who is unhealthy internally, whether by high cholesterol, genetic defect, addiction, infection, or other ailment, to the extent that her value as sexual partner is greatly diminished

"Remember that hot chick I brought home from the bar last week?"

"Yeah, you hit that?"

"I wanted to, but it got weird. She had some kind of brittle bone disease so she gave me all sorts of rules about what I could or could not do. Frankly, it was a complete turn-off."

"Dude, she's a butterhealth!"

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