He is big and loves heyxcath. They are married as Mr and Mrs tubby bear.
He is a pro minecraft bedwarmain. he WILL kill you if you steal his finals.
player 1: Ay i killed a guy
Jaffeau: FUCK YOU THAT WAS MY KILL!
He loves Fiona, Fiona keeps complaining that his dong is nonexistent. He is also gay and loves brian.
Alastair loves having blowjobs and giving blowjobs.