docking

1. place partner on their shoulders, preferably with some back support. your partner's ass should be in the air.

2. open your partner's asshole - or better yet, have them open it for you - as wide as possible. this is best accomplished if your partner's asshole has been previously penetrated by some fleshy or non-organic cylindrical solid substance at a prior, yet closely proximital, time.

3. straddle your partner's gaping asshole and poop directly into their butt. once again, this is best accomplished if your feces has some sort of substance to it, e.g. "log" form.

4. enjoy your docking moment like a big poopy Skylab.

(this may take some practice, as the sphincter muscle may tend to constrict naturally in these cases, especially from the docker. if the dockee has previously stretched their butthole, this isn't quite as much of a problem as one would believe.)

"It's the third date and we've discussed moving our relationship to the next level. Let's get better connected by Docking tonight. Mind grabbing that towel?"

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ass cannon

1. place your partner on their shoulders, preferably with some sort of back support. your partner's ass should be in the air.

2. straddle your partner's ass and shove your balls - ONLY your balls - into your parnter's asshole. (this may be painful on the balls, depending on the elasticity of the currently penetrated asshole)

3. with an erection, and while your balls remain in your parnter's asshole, slowly rotate around your partner making cannon noises, much like a the turret of a tank. Onomatopoetic words, such as "boom" and "chk-burrgh* are appropriate.

"Holy Christ, this ass cannon is doing some serious damage!"

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