UNC

The college that all worthless North Carolinians attend. Any worthwhile major will be found at NC State - such as engineering, agriculture, or veterinary medicine. Duke beats UNC at the few and trivial things that State temporarily cannot. (basketball) Every male who attends UNC is either already gay, will become gay, or is bisexual. If a student at UNC ever makes anything of him/herself (which is rare), it is because he/she sucked a lot of penis or had a really good friend at NC State. Most UNC fans are also illiterate.

NC State grad: "I'm an engineer who works for a major company that brings jobs to thousands of North Carolinians. My wife is a vet who treats livestock for our fellow NC State alumnus, Farmer Dave. He makes sure NC has plenty of food. We help make North Carolina the great state that it is."

UNC grad: "My partner and I are trying to move out of NC to San Fransisco where our culture is accepted. We are trying to raise enough money by selling art and sucking dick."

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