Beard

One who engages in pedantic, pseudo-intellectual discussion of meaningless and often obscure pop culture that nobody actually cares about. Typically applies to nerdy topics such as video games, comic books, science fiction, and so forth. Refers to the luxurious fat-guy beards grown by internet shutins, a la the Simpsons Comic Book Guy.

Brodie: He's an alien, for Christ sake. His Kyrptonian biological makeup is enhanced by earth's yellow sun. If Lois gets a tan the kid could kick right through her stomach. Only someone like Wonder Woman has a strong enough uterus to carry his kid. The only way he could bang regular chicks is with a kryptonite condom. That would kill him.

Me, watching Mallrats: Christ, Kevin Smith is such a fucking beard.

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