backwords

When a chat goes wonky and dialog repeats at odd moments so you can hardly communicate.

Typical backwords:

User 1: Waddup?
User 2: Hey
User 1: Goin to Dave's party?
User 2: Prob
User 1: Cool
User 2: Guess what?
User 1: What?
User 2: Prob
User 1: What?
User 2: Guess what?
User 1: Prob
User 2: wtf?

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maninfestation

The phenomenon whereby groups of males suddenly appear out of nowhere due to the presence of attractive women, free beer, a neighbor's barbecue, running power equipment, or anything else that would draw men like flies.

--That's strange...It was all hot chicks in here just a minute ago when I got up to use the terlet, and when I came back, the bar was swarming with guys!

--Classic case of maninfestation! I saw it on Discovery Channel.

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outfun

To have more fun than someone else.

You: "I stayed home last night and cleaned my apt. with my roomie and then we watched Wizard of Oz on Netflix and crashed. What'd you do?"

Your friend: "I went to a bumpin all-night toga party with that fox Sarah, and we did the grind, and now we're an item. Good times had by all.

You: "Well, guess you outfunned me!"

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Assperger's

An unusual obsession with buttocks, and especially a tendency to visually fixate upon buttocks when out in public, or in other social situations.

"That's the 15th woman today you've stared at too long because she had a nice can, Josh! You're more than just an assman, you've got Assperger's!"

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dogstank

The musky, funky odor of a dirty dog, which permeates everything they lie or sit upon. Making them go for a swim only makes it worse. The only thing that works is professional-grade pet shampoo and lots of warm water.

Their paws also smell like salty cornchips, because that is where their sweat glands are located. Pee-ew!

Don't go into my grandmother's Jeep Grand Cherokee... she has two Retrievers, and that vehicle is full o' fur and dogstank!

tainted glove

A used condom.

---Last night, in the dark, I stepped barefoot on my tainted glove, thrown carelessly upon the floor and forgotten about in the postcoital confusion.

---Eww.

npr2d2

One who listens to Public Radio exclusively and unquestioningly, then has an irresistible compulsion to repeat whatever they just heard on it to co-workers, friends, family, acquaintances, strangers, etc.

John in Human Resources is a total NPR2D2! Every time I run into him in the break room, he has to quote from "All Things Considered," "Fresh Air," or "Prairie Home Companion." He never listens to anything else!

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