muddy bootprint

Aka muddy boot- the darkened skin that radiates outward from the vagina at the center of a woman's inner thighs until the typical skin of the body is attained.

He had only gone down on girls with lily-white skin before Esmerelda, and was jarred by unexpected sight of a muddy bootprint. He descended into the dark abyss with trepidation.

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nowski

1)verb-to kiss with mouth open wider than person being kissed, resulting in saliva coating the entire mouthel region (including mustache and beard area, and possibly ear,nose and throat)
2)The shiny surfaces wetted as a result of being "nowskied."

1)She leaned forward and opened her mouth wide to nowski me. I could see the contents of her stomach because happened to be wearing my spelunking helmut.
2)When they left the closet after their "seven minutes in heaven," the nowski was clear from the sheen around her lips and chin.

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milch talk

Speaking in iambic pentameter with a steady stream of obscenity, ala HBO's "Deadwood."

Voice from the box-"Welcome to Macdonald's, can I take your order?"

Driver-"Would a motherfucker be so fuckin' blind
as undiscerning to discern
the motherfuckin' value of fuckin value meal partook?"

Voice- "That'll be $6.49, please drive around to the second window, and thank you for choosing Motherfuckin' Macdonald's, Milch talker."

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lol

Originally found in Sumerian Tax Logs to define overdue fees (Late on Lamp Oil, some experts believe), this phrase has evolved through time. Shakespeare shunned the abbreviation, finding it impossible to rhyme with. Thoreau punched Jim Bowie in a local tavern for carving it on the table with his special knife, but Lincoln ad-libbed it in the original Gettysburg address during an uncomfortable moment in the Monologue. It meant "Laughing On Line" during the internet craze of the late 20th century, but now has been reduced to a response to the dull person you are texting to out of politeness rather than the one you are actually engaged in a conversation with, if you can call it that.

Sumerian Tax Log: Entry-2 dribs of Lamp Oil, payment 2days past due- LOL (usually required lopping off of something).
Shakespeare's feeble attempt; Mehears the lady LOL, mehopes not at mine nether hole.
Lincoln:Four score and seven years ago our fathers brought forth on this continent, a new nation, conceived in Liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal.(uncomfortable shifting in crowd of living-dead did not shift hopefully)LOL, I meant equal as in, ya know, separate but equal, ya know, LOL, wait till you see my new bathroom signs. (Crowd relaxes) Ok, did I mention there's a new dee-luxe horse and buggy in the lot for y'all who came out today?(big whoop from crowd).
Justin text:RU still there?
Kimberly:LOL

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cell phone

Small silver block that characters on detective television shows,all the CSIs, and "House" pull out of their pockets when the writers can't get off the bong long enough to come up with a better plot device. This cube magically give the characters the next surprising clue which allows the story to dangle or move to its surprise ending, depending on how close to the end of the hour it is. See DNA EVIDENCE

Plot direction:
Caruso:I'll see you in hell/jail/syndication.
(reach into pocket for cell phone) Caruso (pause, adjust glasses, or draw back sport coat to get good handle on waist). I'm coming in.
Peripheral Snarky CSI Staffer: Who was that?
Caruso: They found-the murder weapon/killer/a time slot for CSI Des Moines.

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talking points

Political and Moral sign posts for the walking dead.

1) I tried to reason with my mother but it seemed her entire vocabulary had been reduced to a few trite talking points she had heard from the Bills (O'Reilly and Crystal). I had learned to aim for the head when shooting zombies, and now was no time for mistakes.
2) The make-up man did a remarkable job of hiding the bite wounds on the president, but that odd speech rhytm and blathering talking points were a dead give-away. The camera hid the mangled hand, but you could see the rotting flesh on the live feed.

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Break the water line

A dump which is able to support itself and rise above the typical average water level in a toilet. An outstanding achievement, the performer is encouraged to bring others in to witness. Photographs do not have the same impact.

He was able to break the water line with a single chute of feces. They carried from the field that day.

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