malevision

a guy's inability to locate an item in the frig or pantry when it is right in front of him. and he then tells his significant other or friend, "we must be out of ketchup" and then she has to stop whatever it is she is doing and grap the item from the frig and hand it over.

Dude! you so have malevision...if the ketchup bottle had teeth, it would have bitten your hand off!"

2👍 3👎

Java jive

The ability to verbally (and pretentiously) spew out your entire Starbucks order using the appropriate slang without making a mistake or coming up for air.

Jorge: Man! that shorty sure knew how to throw down some java jive!"

Shorty: "I'll have a grande, nonfat, no whip, one pump sugar-free, no foam, extra hot, double vanilla latte; a reduced fat banana chocolate chip muffin....and that Johnny Cash cd"

7👍 16👎

starbucks shuffle

The act of throwing out the prior Starbucks cup when ordering another cup either the next morning or later that day at the drive-thru.

"WTF??? That snotty barista was pissed when I asked him to do the Starbucks shuffle for me after paying $3.84 for a latte!"

2👍 2👎

starbucks stutter

The phenomenon that happens to folks, usually born prior to 1950, at Starbucks when they suddenly freeze and have no idea what to say or do when the barista asks them for their order when trying to order a plain old cup of coffee.

Usually followed by growns and exchanged glances among the snotty Starbucks whores in line behind them.

Can also be associated with the shock of paying more than $.25 for a cup of coffee.

Jesse: "Dude! Did you see that geezer get the Starbucks Stutter when he couldn't even order his joe?"

Sam: "Yeah! That was some serious java stage fright!"

14👍 4👎

iphunk

the nasty greasy, oily, and crusty gunk that accumulates on and in the crevices of your iPhone and its protective case.

1. DUDE! You better clean that nasty iphunk off of your iPhone before you catch MRSA!!!

2. Man! Your iPhone has so much iphunk on it, you're probably going to get bacterial meningitis!!!

10👍 1👎