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puppy parkour

Parkour: holistic training for humans.
Puppy: a young doggie, a spaz.

When you get an untrained puppy and the motherfucker goes completely batshit insane every waking moment.

Jaylene: oh... I'm so glad school is out. Let's watch tv. 
BOOM! 
Jane: what was that?? 
Jaylene: oh... my new puppy. Bouncing off a wall.... or the couch... or... 
Jane: I haven't seen him yet... 
Jaylene: Every minute or so he'll hit a wall and slide down. That's the best time to see him. 
BAAMMM! 
Jaylene: Puppy Parkour... what can I say? 
Jane: What breed is he? 
Jaylene: Part Chihuahua... part Pug.... part retard. He's a designer breed.

by pdxjohnny99 April 28, 2013

577👍 246👎


Every Time I Breathe Air

A remark used about something that is ongoing, redundant, never changing, redundant and redundant.

Melanie: I hate this job. I hate everyone I work with. They're all backstabbin' cocksuckers. I hate my salary. I can't afford to feed my fish. It's your fault, you dick!
Melanie's boss: You tell me that every time I breathe air.

Zoe: Gosh, I'm sick of this new server here at work.
Waggs: It crashes every time I breathe air. No worries.

Melanie: I hate being sober. I hate getting high all day. I hate you, dick. You raped my dreams and let them die, you fucker. I could have been a dancer, cocksucker.
Melanie's son: Yeah, I know, mom. You tell me every time I breathe air.

Waggs: Dang, how many times are they going to show Empire Strikes Back?
Zoe: Its Spike TV. They show it every time I breathe air. Heck, let's watch it again. No worries.

Melanie: Fuuuuuuuuuck. I hate my spending problem. I hate that I have no money to spend. I hate all this stupid shit I bought. I hate this clutter. I hate being called a fucking horder all the time. I fucking hate you, bitch. Why didn't you get me that abortion?
Melanie's mom: Trust me I would have gotten my abortion if I had the money.
Melanie: Wait... what?? YOUR abortion.
Melanie's mom: Oh dear. Did I say that out loud?

by pdxjohnny99 May 22, 2013

203👍 161👎


Sesame Standoff

Whenever someone eats any kind of sandwhich of burger on a sesame seed bun, and once finished proceeds to pick and eat the leftover sesame seeds off the plate or wrapper.

Dawn: Okay... are you done with you're roast beef sandwhiches? Let's go.
Smitty: No way. Sesame standoff.
Dawn: For real? You embarass the shit out of me when you do this!
Smitty then starts picking every sesame seed off the wrappers.
Dawn: I'm never eating out with you again, dad.

by pdxjohnny99 April 16, 2013

432👍 183👎


Romzoms

RomZoms is short for Romero Zombies. The films, shows, books or any media regarding the post-Night of the Living Dead/ George Romero type zombie subgenre. These zombies shuffle slowly, groan, feast on human guts and animals... and DO NOT SPRINT LIKE THEYRE TRYING OUT FOR FUCKING TRACK AND FIELD!

Not to be confused with pre-Romero voodoo zombies either... a defining factor is voodoo zombies don't eat people alive.

Brandon: Look at these zombies running faster than this physically fit guy.
Brent: Well... they're not Romzoms. So who cares?
Brandon: But their tendons are ripped, they can barely function mentally, how... HOW??
Brent: They're just not Romzoms. No need to even compare.
Brandon: You're right, bro... Romzoms will always rule. Romero is the king.

by pdxjohnny99 April 12, 2013

361👍 297👎


Dirt Dumb

Basically, the dumbest of the dumbest. Dumb as dirt.

Loyd is dirt dumb. He dropped his toilet paper roll in the toilet and put it in the microwave to dry it and burned the entire goddamn trailer park down. Dirt dumb.

by pdxjohnny99 December 17, 2015

151👍 10👎


Throne-ite

Nickname for 'Game of Thrones' fans, an HBO show based on the epic fantasy A Song of Ice and Fire by George R.R. Martin.

I never in the world thought I would ever watch a Game of Thrones episode. But I did... and now I've been hooked for two years. Its like smoking a Middle Earth crackpipe! I'm so addicted to this show... I can now say I am a true Throne-ite!

by pdxjohnny99 April 15, 2013

592👍 59👎


Spunk Junkie

A person that digs sperm.

She's a Spunk Junkie.

She's got the need for seed.

She loves the Jerk Juice. The Cock Cream. The Tang. The Meat Mix. The Man Milk. The Boy Batter. The Load Launch. The Nut Butter. The Jizz Juice. The Salt Shake. The White Wash.

by pdxjohnny99 August 26, 2013

123👍 9👎