South Jersey

South Jersey, one of the best places on Earth. The home of Atlantic City, the country's playground. We love Wawa, and if you don't know what the heck a Wawa is, then sure as heck don't live here. Try to snatch a Tastykake Butterscotch Krimpet our of our hands, and you'll only have a fraction of your fingers left, gauranteed. We wouldn't dream of pumping our own gas, and the average cost of our houses is anywhere from $5oo,ooo to a cool million. Our lighthouses are beautiful, and the beaches, bays, lakes, and rivers that they overlook are even more stunning. In South Jersey, we know the value of a horse and a farm, much unlike our Northern brethren (they like factories and other toys). We have the sickest accent ever, and yes we drink "wooder" (water), and eat "begels" (bagels). Not from here? That makes you a shoobie, and we automatically don't like you. And yes, we can point you out, no matter how cool, calm or collected you may seem. We're assholes, get over it. Here, the middle finger is worshipped. We looooooove pizza, and other junk that'll kill us in the long run. We do to know how to drive, don't be mad because you're stuck in the slow lane. Some of the hugest political scandals have happened here, and if John Kerry (from here) would have beaten Bush, our country probably would have been better off right now. We're South Jersians, a.k.a Woodies, don't like it, we'll kick your ass.

Tourist: These South Jersey people drive like maniacs!

New Jersian: *beep* Move out of the way asshole, you're drivin like 5 miles an hour.

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