Greeting Card

Slang for a person who’s only contributions to discussions are vague, positive statements. Nobody disagrees with them because there’s nothing of substance in what they say. They prevent issues from being discussed because the only response to their feel-good cliche is a quiet head nod or other innocuous affirmation. The conversation typically fizzles out because it’s easy to look like a jackass by detracting from the positive end note in a group setting.

Someone is a genuine Greeting Card when they truly believe their vague positivity accomplished something.

Someone can cynically act like a Greeting Card when they intentionally want to close a hard conversation where they may have to deal with uncomfortable topics or discussions. Watch politicians and corporate executives do it all the time.

"I think what we can all agree on is that the children’s safety is very important to all of us." – Jim, in a meeting

"Jim always kisses ass and only says obvious shit that means nothing. We never talk about how to actually fix things. Jim is such a freaking Greeting Card!" – Jane, to a friend after the meeting