A.S.

Anal Sadness - this horrible condition is usually a result of poor choices when eating the hottest, face melting Chicken Wings with your buddies. It *will* afflict you - you can't run from it, I promise.

I can't come to work today, I'm suffering from A.S. - can't talk.. gotta run!!

christmas pregnant

Eating so much you feel fat(ter) and ashamed. Gluttony in its most pure form - specifically during the entire month of December, and trailing off sometime the end of January

Dude: "Are you hiding a whole turkey under that sweater?"
Me: "No, Dude, I'm just Christmas Pregnant. I think I ATE a whole turkey though..."
Dude: "oh.. well just don't eat so much you give birth all over the place. And leave me some Cheetos, bitch!"
Me: <Nom Nom Nom> "Whoever eats the last one.. Wins!"