cell-u-verse

The total number of reachable cellphones.

I wonder which is greater, all the stars in the sky or the cell-u-verse.

OMG, you should see my daughter's phone bill. I think see tried to call the cell-u-verse.

inclement webber

Someone who only accesses the internet during periods of foul weather.

If it's nice outside, you won't find me surfing the net. I'm strictly an inclement webber.

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Flo-rid-a-tot

A child conceived from having unprotected sex while on spring vacation in Florida.

Did you hear about Mary's Flo-rid-a-tot? Yeah, she got knocked-up during spring break in Daytona Beach.

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comp-u-terd

The professional computer assistant you call to help you with a computer problem who either treats you like shit because
they think they are God since they know more about computers than you or who is of absolutely no help at all because in fact they know absolutely nothing about computers and have just charged you to make your problem even worse.

I just got off the phone with that comp-u-terd who works for the company that sold me my computer. I paid $50 dollars in advance to get help removing a virus and now my hard drive won't boot.

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evict horizon

The moment in time when you know you are just seconds from being kicked-out of your home or apartment and will be falling into the black hole of homelessness.

When I heard the loud knock at my door, I knew it was the Sheriff and that I was about to cross over the evict horizon.

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South Beech

Any gay person who has been hanging out on South Beach longer than some of the trees.

See (Order: Fagales

Family: Fagaceae

Genus: Fagus)

Like a tree, Claude had basically planted himself on South Beach. In fact, he's a South Beech.

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cell-u-lar-tardation

a. The state of owning a cell phone and having absolutely no idea how to use it.

b. An acquired state of mental retardation due to radio wave damage of the brain as a result of insessant use of a cellular phone.

Fred's 18 year old daughter, Lisa, has an advanced stage of cell-u-lar-tardation that is irreversible. It's a real shame that he didn't understand the consequences back at age 2, when she got her first cell phone.

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