Beach Sex

The third best type of sex.

Right behind make up and angry.

Jack Donaghy: Beach sex is the third best sex you can have. Right after elevator and white house

27👍 31👎

Jonas Brother

Someone who has complete immunity from insults because they are so full of fail.

A person who is sucks so much, that it's not even funny or in good taste to make fun of them.

Girl: man, Bob really fucked up Don't Stop Believing during the talent show didn't he?

Guy: hellz yea he did. Do we make fun of him for it?

Me: It really wouldn't be cool to, after all he is a Jonas Brother.

21👍 7👎

M.N.P.

stands for must not procreate.

Applied to morons who, by law, should not be allowed to make children.

Bill: so, last week, I started para sailing and I was looking up at the sky instead of the ground, so I look down and see that I'm about to land in this swamp full of alligators.

Me: wait, you para sailed over a fucking swamp?

Bill: yeah.

Me: dude you are beyond M.N.P. You're to the point now that you're too stupid to exist.

8👍 4👎

Nerd high

A feeling of euphoria one gets after seeing something truly awesome. Normally lasts anywhere between 3 weeks to 4 months.

Me: So, I just saw Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows part 1.

Girl: How was it?

Me: I'm gonna be on a nerd high for a long time.

6👍 1👎

Rebecca Black

The worst singer in the history of music.

She's so terrible that, by comparison, she makes Justin Bieber look like John Lennon.

News anchor: and in an unrelated story, up-and-coming young singer, Rebecca Black has achieved the impossible by making Justin Bieber look like a lyrical genius.

6👍 4👎

Michael Bay Presentation

A project being presented that has very little substance and instead focuses on flash, glitz and glamor. Typically, these types of presentations will only be pleasing to those who are incredibly small minded and easily impressed.

Bill: man, did you Ricky's project.

Me: Yeah, I was there, dude.

Bill: Right, right. Wasn't it awesome?

Me: The hell are you talking about? He said nothing about what happens when an atom splits.

Bill: Yeah, but his poster spewed fired.

Me: Who gives a fuck? It was a total Michael Bay Presentation.

18👍 2👎

O rly

An expression of sarcasm whenever something that someone already knew about is declared.

Grandma: hey, Ricky Martin just came out of the closet. Turns out he was gay all along.

Me: O rly?

Grandma: Ya rly

9👍 5👎