soccer mom

a sad woman who is trapped on a hamster wheel of endless running and running and running. (insert coffee chugging here) Her life revolves around her children's social schedule and her own existance is defined by it. Although the SUV is the surest indicator of her membership in this exclusive club, the latest identifier would have to be her multi-colored, quilted, flowery, overpriced, overstuffed purse that can double as a seat cushion for the bleachers of the soccer/baseball games. Usual habbitats, huge bargain warehouse stores, fast food lines, character themed pizza joints, and athletic fields. I was raised by one, and i will most likely (sadly) turn into one. The difference will be the censorship/racist/independence issues. Whether one is a Jewish soccer mom or christian or muslim....open mindedness is key. you know in your hearts that a 5 year old doesn't need to hear the word "fuck" all day long, he can do that when he's 15, but he should definately hear good ass music, and that shit should start in the womb. i know you all are young...and angry (mostly due to being cut off in traffic A LOT,) but when you have your own kids....you'll protect them from all of those fucking soccer mom's the same way they protect their kids from you.

day after day the soccer moms open thier eyes to begin another day of the exact copy of yesterday. coffee, turn on the Today show, drive kids to school, run over several small VW golfs, errands, sniff cocaine, pick up kids from school, stop at starbucks, take kids to soccer practice, go through drive thru, tuck kids into bed, masterbate and repeat daily until kids go to college.

38👍 10👎