Kashi Bomb

The shituation that develops within one hour of eating a full bowl of Kashi brand cereal. It starts with a small rumble and progresses quickly to an imminent explosion.
Those eating Kashi should ensure proximity to an appropriate facility to safely detonate the bomb.

The following takes place 30 minutes into carpooling.

Bill: "Bob, my wife fixed me a huge bowl of that Kashi stuff this morning. You know that thing about 7 whole grains? Well, I've figured out the mission they were on."

Bob swerves immediately to the right, headed to the nearest gas station.

Bob: "No sweat. Just don't let that Kashi Bomb detonate on my new leather seats."

Queermalize

A typical accusation against homosexuals, aka lib-tards, by the Conservative Right-Wing wackos from Real America. It basically involves the suspicion that accepting homosexuality or homosexual-related behaviors, such as cross-dressing, is an attempt to turn everyone into a queer.

Chris: "So we can't have Gender-Bender Day? We can't allow these girls to show up to school dressed as boys and the boys dressed as girls?"

John Q Redneck: "That's their agenda. That is their agenda. These queermosexuals are trying to queermalize my great country. They don't even put their business in the right place."

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Stock Stalker

One who obsessively checks the price of recent stock purchases, to the point of losing contact with friends and family.

Dude 1: Sorry I haven't responded to your texts. Due to gas price volatility, I just put $14k into battery stocks.

Dude 2: No problem. I was a psychology major and I recognize Stock Stalker behavior. You might want to seek professional help.

Naked Log

A turd that has been left in an un-flushed toilet with no accompanying toilet paper.

I was at my sister's house and went to take a piss and saw a naked log left by one of her kids. I told her but, in typical fashion, she just blamed it on someone else's kid.