tie one on

To get drunk or start drinking before the hang over from last night has worn off.

Thus having something to "tie onto"

To tie one drinking session to another before the effects/consequences of the last have expired.

Guy 1: Hey, what's going on there?
Guy 2: I'm hungover as fuck, they had quarter pitcher night at Jake's last night.
Guy 1: So you're just going to hang out?
Guy 2: Fuck it lets tie one on.
Guy 1&2: *Crack open beers and commence drinking*

498👍 272👎

unemployed

Now, 1 in 10 of us. Previously, people that didn't want to work or that were going to get a job in 2 months.

I used to have a job but then everyone spent all their money plus 10 grand on credit cards and found out their house was worth half as much as it was 4 years ago and doesn't buy anything and/or got foreclosed on; now I don't have a job and am unemployed because I got laid off because "the economy is 'so bad'".

289👍 163👎

bush doctrine

The thing that Sarah Palin has no idea of what it is or understanding of whatsoever.

CHARLIE GIBSON: Do you agree with the Bush doctrine?
SARAH PALIN: In what respect, Charlie? GIBSON: The Bush -- well, what do you -- what do you interpret it to be?
PALIN: His world view.
GIBSON: No, the Bush doctrine, enunciated September 2002, before the Iraq war.
PALIN: I believe that what President Bush has attempted to do is rid this world of Islamic extremism, terrorists who are hell bent on destroying our nation. There have been blunders along the way, though. There have been mistakes made. And with new leadership, and that's the beauty of American elections, of course, and democracy, is with new leadership comes opportunity to do things better.
GIBSON: The Bush doctrine, as I understand it, is that we have the right of anticipatory self-defense, that we have the right to a preemptive strike against any other country that we think is going to attack us.

41👍 4👎

in what respect charlie

What someone who had no idea about the question asked them would respond, that is if they were talking to Charlie, or mocking Alaskan Governor Sarah Palin.

CHARLIE GIBSON: Do you agree with the Bush doctrine?
SARAH PALIN: In what respect Charlie?

22👍 4👎

kva

Kick Valpo's Ass
Valparaiso Indiana

The lockers at the high school had signs on them that said, "Go Amanda - KVA" because the soccer team was playing Valpo that night.

27👍 8👎

puntable dog

Any dog that is small enough to be drop kicked like you're punting an american football.

Dogs that are this small aren't really even dogs at all. They're annoying and piss and crap in the house. Their owners call this common occurrence an accident and feel the need to cater to the animal's every perceived need.

Dude, why are you walking funny and paying for all of your girlfriend's stuff.

Oh, she has a puntable dog so I can't sleep comfortably in the bed because the puntable dog takes up the whole thing and she had to buy it the most expensive food, sweaters and haircuts for it as well. I think we're even spending more on it's kennel then for our vacation when we're away.

50👍 11👎

nuke it

To microwave something.

-What are you eating?
Yesterday's pizza.
-Did you nuke it?
Yeah, 30 seconds is good.

203👍 29👎