valenteen

valenteen. VALENTEEN IS SOMEONE YOU WILL NEVER MEET TWICE. i’ve witnessed this woman burp, fart, and eat simultaneously. i’ve seen this thing try to communicate with me through her EYES. there is no one else in the world that will play charades instead of speak. valenteen calls everyone an NPC but has a calendar. valenteen’s mom likes me more than her so i think it may have affected her emotionally. valenteen’s life is a real life domino affect and once something goes wrong it all goes wrong. all she ever does is come to my house, wake me up, take her daily shit in my toilet, and then tell me about guys she thinks are butt fucking ugly. aside, valenteen is my best friend and i appreciate our friendship very much. if it wasn’t for val i’d be very bored and would have ended up with a toxic friend.

“where is valenteen?”
me: oh she’s probably rotting away in her room rn but you can leave me a message for her”

versailles

versailles is the only person in the world who would give you a fork to eat your soup. he’s a pretty funny guy who dramatizes every aspect of his life and makes jokes out of it. versailles acts very immature but is emotionally intelligent. he does a lot of thinking and is someone you’d enjoy having a long late night conversation with. versailles is good at math and is smart even if he doesn’t think so (or show it). but people who are good at math are usually trash at sex so at least he’s hot. versailles has a lot of friends and people that care about him and he’s great with adaptability. he can get along with anyone so you definitely want to have him in your friend group. aside, you won’t meet someone else like versailles.

“i just someone asked for directions to the nearest bathroom and they opened their mouth. wtf?”

goddamnit versailles