Fuck off money

Paying your mistress an agreed amount of money to get the fuck out of your life for good and never return or contact you, your wife, or family again. Not to be confused with fuck you money which means something totally different

Your mate: "So she went crazy on yo ass? Think you'll hear from her again" You: "Nope. Ive paid her 'fuck off money'"

20👍 6👎

Mason Day

Taking the day off work (when others have managed to make it in) as a result of an incredibly light dusting of snow on the ground. Made popular in the U.K. as a result of hysteria from ‘yellow’ warnings broadcast by the BBC.

Louis: “Where’s Gavin?”

Stuart: “He’s having a Mason Day”

Louis: “But it’s not snowing!?”

Stuart: “.....”