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7-11 Test

The act of watching and judging people exiting a convenience store, usually while sitting in a parked car or pumping gas out front.

"Passing the 7-11 Test" means someone who looks especially good, often inciting a double-take, swoon, or wolf-whistle (at least on the inside), among the otherwise random collection of humanity who pass through those doors.

Damn, girl! You passed the 7-11 test! Glad you were getting into MY car!

Seeing my own reflection in the store window, I had to admit, I passed the 7-11 test!

Poor girl, with those thunder thighs and muffin top, she definitely failed the 7-11 test.

by redshirt58 April 12, 2011

15👍 7👎


vonda

A verb meaning: to insert a high-risk component into a software project without due consideration, planning, testing, or acceptance of the inevitable ramifications of failure, often under duress, time crunch, or due to moonlighting.

"It's Friday at 3:30 and I need to leave. I'll vonda that in from home on Saturday."

"Well, of course it doesn't work quite right. I vonda'd that in to hit the deadline."

"Never mind getting approval. Just vonda it in."

by redshirt58 August 16, 2005

26👍 53👎


Free Pony

When you receive an apparently free, wonderful gift with high and/or unexpected maintenance costs not previously considered by, or obvious to, the recipient.

Mary: Grandpa is giving little Elizabeth a pony for her 12th birthday if she promises to take care of it! Isn't that great?
Bob: What?!?! How are we supposed to pay for the board, food, vet bills, and riding lessons for Elizabeth? Free Pony? Give me a break!

Bill: So I meet this hot chick, Sandy, who takes me on a 7-day cruise at no cost because she's filthy rich. Then two weeks later I've got crabs and herpes. What a free pony she turned out to be.

Jim: I can't believe I won that new Corvette in the church raffle! But since I'm unemployed and living with my mom, I can't even afford the gas and insurance, let alone maintenance.

John: Oh, man! Sounds like you won a free pony! Well maybe you can sell it and still get something for your trouble.

by redshirt58 May 12, 2011

22👍 4👎


Center of Excellence

When a tech company outsources and offshores expensive jobs to a cheap 2nd or 3rd world labor location, they give that new place a lofty name, as if it's god's gift to their future success, while it generally displaces US or other western (expensive) workers.

They'll trade one a $100k/yr Java coder stateside for a half dozen Sanjeev's in the Center of Excellence in Bangalore.

The Center of Excellence contributes directly to shareholder value, i.e. executive bonuses.

The Center of Excellence is in Bangalore. That makes Austin the Center of Expensive Mediocrity.

by redshirt58 February 25, 2009

23👍 5👎


comfort in chaos

A state of mind in which a person either seeks drama and negativity, or else creates it, often dragging in as many others as possible. Someone who can't stand prosperity; others or their own.

The project was going great, everyone was on board, and then Abby came along to tell us all the reasons it couldn't be done. She always seeks comfort in chaos.

Jack had plenty of time to write his master's thesis, but he messed around, waited until 3 days before it was due and then pulled 2 all-nighters. Some people just find comfort in chaos.

by redshirt58 May 3, 2011

12👍 24👎


extramarital text

Texting a member of the opposite sex, who is not one's spouse or partner, for the primary purpose of flirting.

Sue: That guy I bumped into at the bar just texted me three times to meet for a drink later. Bob keeps grabbing my phone to see who it is.
Mary: Well, you're hot, Girl! That won't be the first time you got caught having extramarital text.

by redshirt58 May 23, 2011