Maternity Metric System

When a pregnant woman refers to her pregnancy progress in weeks, not months.

Person A: "Wow, you're pregnant! How far along are you?"
Pregnant chick: "I'm 20 weeks."
Person A: "Oh so 5 months?"
Pregnant chick: "No, 20 weeks. It's the maternity metric system equivalent for 5 months. But saying it in weeks makes me sound better than everyone and it confuses and annoys people."

Crappuccino

The abrupt bowel movement that occurs after consuming coffee or coffee like beverages.

My morning latte was good, but now I have to take a massive crappuccino.