Cuntbandit

(noun) |kənt•bandit| An insulting name given to people who steal anything of value from you, one-up you, or are just plain stupid. Often used as a title when blaming someone.

Karen: Joanie, did you eat my nachos?
Joanie: Sorry...
Karen: God, you are such a cuntbandit!

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Bumpercar

(verb) bump•er car When an enormously fat person tries to get around you in a crowded place, usually resulting in you being knocked back a few feet away by their huge love handles.

Karen: Joanie, did you see what just happened?
Joanie: Did some cuntbandit steal your drink again?
Karen: No! Some stupid fatass just bumpercarred me right into the garbage can.
Joanie: Did you spill your drink?
Karen: No.
Joanie: Oh, thank god.

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