Much like a regular "handle" of liquor, a Jesus-handle is any quantity greater than 1.75 L of top-tier liquor. It is a colloquial for people who avoid the Godless metric system, and believe that sermons are best preached from atop a bar-stool.
"Sorority sisters just can't hold a candle
to the St. Mary's girls when they grab my Jesus-Handle."
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