poo handle

stuffing a piece of crap under the handle of somebody's car door, so as when they go to open it, said piece of crap is ground into their finger tips and jammed under their finger nails.

Burt:"My boss is being a dick lately."
Rudy:"Let's sneak out before he leaves work and give him a poo handle."

33👍 9👎

Miller High Life

Quite frankly, the best damned beer ever produced. The drink of champions. Nick named "The Champagne of Beers", and it truly is.

Burt: "yo, you gonna hit up Shooty's Super Bowl party?"
Rudy: "Damn straight, got me a 30 pack of Miller High Life, gonna get me drunk up."

192👍 81👎

alarm clock anxiety

when you know you have to get up at a certain time, but can't fall asleep to begin with, and you keep looking at the clock.

i was up all night with alarm clock anxiety, cuz i didn't want to sleep in and miss my job interview.

hank

the name of the toilet

1. Well, I think it's time to feed Hank.
2. Hank's hungry, must be time for his feeding.

12👍 35👎

tootsie roll

the piece of cat shit used when executing a poo handle.

i grabbed a tootsie roll from Fluffy's litter box for the poo handle i'm gonna run on my manager.

3👍 77👎

Railroader

taking a huge, solid, one piece dump that you swear is like 8 feet long.

I feel 6 pounds lighter after dropping that railroader.

14👍 11👎